Pest control isn’t for everybody. Forget what you’ve heard – this is a job that takes training, expertise, and dedication. Not just any chum with a $2.99 can of pesticide can do it. And sometimes if you don’t do it in time, things can go terribly wrong. Especially if you decide to handle it on your own. But don’t worry if you’ve tried and you’ve failed in a spectacular manner – we doubt you could’ve done any worse than the entries in this blog post.
5. The Boy Who Almost Pissed His Pants
Embarrassing home videos have been appearing on YouTube since the dawn of time in 2005. That was the end of the b.y. (before YouTube) era, when mankind crawled from the mud of private video sharing and started immortalising their most idiotic moments online in a digital format.
In this particular example of masculinity, bravery, and hunting prowess, we observe a young individual trying to show off his shooting skills against a vicious insect. Under the proud gaze of what we assume to be the entire, or at least a large portion of the family (historians have still not reached a consensus about this, but then again when do they ever?), he attempts to slay the monster with an air gun. However, the beast proves to be a bit too much to handle and gets the drop on the obvious ill-prepared boy. Without hesitation, he starts jumping around, screaming like a little girl, a lot to the amusement of his elders. He has failed in his first test of manhood and thanks to the magic of online video sharing, he will bear this shame forever.
4. Hornet’s Nest Removal Gone Wrong
Never poke the hornet’s nest. Those are words to live by. Apparently, our friends in the video have never heard them because not only did they figure it would be a good idea to remove it without proper gear, but they did it in the most inefficient way possible.
A chain is as strong as its weakest link, which is the problem with teamwork, in general. In this case, because one fails to bag the nest properly, the whole endeavour crumbles like a house of cards during an earthquake.
We need to ask – how difficult is it to bag a hornet’s nest? A lot, as it turns out, especially when you don’t know what you’re doing. We’re glad none of them got hurt. Hornets can be extremely dangerous when irritated, and there’s nothing more irritating than a group of middle-aged men trying to get rid of your home.
3. Prisoner Sues the State of New York Because a Rat Bit His Privates
If you think we’ll only cover domestic fails, you’re wrong. A person can fail spectacularly, but so can the government. In this case, a prisoner sued Nassau County for damages after being bitten on the privates by a rat. Turns out this is not the only case of rat bites inside the prison in the months leading to the… injury, but this one garners more attention, because of, well – its location.
It would seem a pest control company was hired at some point before the accident and the technicians made recommendations the prison officials decided to completely ignore(because why would you listen to a professional about an issue inside their area of expertise?). Whoops!
This is the type of costly screw-up that usually causes people to lose their jobs, especially when human rights violations are involved. Ouch! Never ignore pests. They can be a much more serious problem than you think. This one was a little dark (and it’s only going to get darker from here).
2. Man Blasts Half His Face Off Trying to Shoot a Skunk
Anyone’s ever seen a cartoon knows skunks are a menace. But only those who have seen them live know they are demonic creatures from another dimension sent here to spread misery and unbearable stench (which is incredibly difficult to remove, by the way). So, yeah, skunks are pests is what we’re saying.
Daniel McDaniels (yeah, we know) apparently also thought so when he was visiting a friend one Friday night. The pair noticed a skunk, which got Daniel a bit too excited. Preparing to dispatch a bullet in the black and white critter, he started loading his .22-calibre rifle (because apparently the most normal thing in Florida, where Daniel is from, is to visit your friends carrying a rifle). Much to his surprise (and his friend’s, we assume), it turned out the gun was already loaded and there was a premature shot. The bullet went through his fingers and into his left cheek, remaining in his head.
The injury was not life threatening, so considering the circumstances, Daniel was lucky. The fate of the skunk remains unknown, though some sources speculate it died of laughter.
1. Man Sets His House on Fire Trying to Kill a Spider
Spider control is not easy. A man in West Seattle had to find this out the hard way. After noticing a spider in his house, the man attempted to dispatch his own brand of flaming justice by dealing with the intruder by means of homemade flamethrower (a can of spray paint and a lighter), presumably while he was screaming “kill it with fire!” against the confused arachnid.
The end result was less desirable than anticipated. The man ended up burning his entire house, while the fate of the spider remains unknown. For all we know, it escaped the mayhem unscathed and watched the pretty lights from afar, while all the possessions of its would-be killer were burning down.
The fire took everything. The house and everything inside completely burned out. Luckily, no lives were claimed, otherwise we wouldn’t have put this entry in the “ridiculous column”. However, the damage still costs $40,000 for the house alone, $60,000 if we count the belongings. This makes it the most expensive spider control in recent memory. Do not try this at home!